Revenge
by Jeanne Reveur
Summary: A certain person, I think we all know who, wants her revenge on Artemis, and gets certain twins to do it, you know who I mean. I think we all know who. What will happen to Artemis, will he be doomed? Well, you'll just have to read and find out.


Well, this idea just came to me at 1:00 am last night, and I had to write it out. I hope you like it.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ARTEMIS FOWL, Holly does!

Holly: I do not!

Me: I bet you want to though!

Holly: That just wrong!

Me: Have you read the last book?

Holly:...you have a very sick mind glares at me, and takes out gun

Me: Fine, Holly doesn't own Artemis Fowl either, Eoin does.

* * *

_Fowl Manner, Ireland (where else could it be, Scotland?)  
_

It was a quiet morning in Fowl Manner, 9:00 to be exact. Inside Fowl Manner, everyone was up, and enjoying the morning, everyone except one raven haired, genius-criminal mastermind .

Artemis was in his room, asleep to the world. He wasn't in his bed though; he had spent most of the night doing research on his computer. If you were to look right now, you would see Artemis slumped in his chair, and his head resting lightly on his computer, with the computer screen having that annoying sign:

"New updates avalible for your computer! Shut down to update, or press cancel exit" with the "restart computer now" button and the "cancel" button, but if you knew how to speak computer, you would know they ment:

"BWAHAHAHA! New updates ready for you computer, shut down to update, press cancel to exit, but if you do press cancel, it doesn't matter, because you'll update eventually,even if you don't want them, you'll get them someday. You can't keep your computer on forever, BWAHAHAHAHAHA." Of course, Artemis didn't see this message, because as I said, he was asleep to the world, having a pleasant dream about algebra. Little did he know the unpleasant surprise that awaited him. Inside Artemis's closet, you could see two small, shadowed figures, watching Artemis like a hawk, waiting for there chance to strike.

"Are you sure about this brothew?" One of them asked.

"Yes, this pan is fwaless," the other one answered,

"Why are we doing this again?" One asked back.

"_She _told us too, Remembew? She wants to revenge!"

"What's Wevenge?"

"It means _she's_ mad at him, dummy! Don't be such a simple-" he was cut off by the sound of Artemis shifting slightly.

"Let's go now! He will wake up soon. If he finds us, he'll call Butler, and then we'll go to..._that _place!" He said, and the two ran out of the closet. When they ran out, you could see one was holding a can of some kind, and the other a small gun. The plan was simple. One would use the gun to wake him up, and the other would use the can to finish the job. Poor Artemis wouldn't have a chance. Each one got the side of Artemis, and were about to go for the kill, when something lifted them up by the collar. They looked to see none other them Butler staring down at them.

"Just what do you two think you're doing?" He asked, in a scolding tone. The two brothers looked at each other, and both seemed to get the same idea. They then turned to Butler, evil grins on there faces.

"Attack!" One of them called out, and before Butler knew it, he was getting blasted by lots of water, and neon pink silly string.

"Myles! Beckett!" He yelled out, only awaking his young master.

"Huh, Butler, what's going on? He said sleepily, then saw the twins evil faces, and there weapons pointed straight at him.

"Oh no," was all he could say, before he shared the same fate as his loyal bodyguard. Both twins were laughing like hyenas when a shadow appeared over them. They turned to see Butler, his bald head looked like it was wearing a wig of pink string, and his cloths were soaked.

"Run!" the twins called out, using the last of their Ammo to fend off the giant body guard, and quickly ran out the door, leaving the two thinking many things, such as, Who invented Silly String, why was it always neon colored, who said water guns aren't a weapon, but most of all, they were wondering,

"Butler, who gave them a water gun, and silly string?" Artemis asked, trying to get the pink goop out of her hair.

"That would be me!" A female's voice said behind them.

Artemis turned around to see Juliet by the door, with a huge smirk on her face, and the twins by her sides, laughing their heads off.

"Just remember this next time you make fun of my new recipe for cooking!" She yelled at him, and then walked off in a huff, leaving the two men standing there, remembering the recipe she was talking about: Cow tounge pie with Pepper Jack cheese. She had said that it "was very good for you, and it will make you quick on your feet they shuttered as they remembered eating the god-awful meal. It made them quick on there feet alright, and they spent that whole night praying to the gods, the porcelain one to be exact. When Juliet asked about it the next day, Artemis had been Bluntly honest.

"Butler

"Yes Artemis?"

"Your sister may be disciplined in 15 martial arts, and be a trained assassin, and can kick anybodys ass she'd like, but she has issues, when it comes to her food." Butler only sighed, before replying,

"Well Artemis, for as long as I have known my sister, cooking has been a, _sensitive _subject with her." Artemis nodded with this. It made sense though.

"Well, I've learned one thing though," Artemis stated, while picking the neon string out of his hair

"What's that Artemis?" Butler asked, doing the same (even though he doesn't have hair)

"When it come to Juliet's food..."

"You won't say it was God Awful Lemar Manurer?"

"No." Butler was curiouse now.

"What did you learn then?" He asked, for some reason, this was a need-to-know thing for him. _Why do I need to know this? _he was mentally asking himself.

"I've learned next time Juliet makes something, round, green, and lumpy, I'm going _out _to dinner."

* * *

Remember, before reading this, this was done in the middle of the night. I actually just added the computer update part, because my computer shut down itself before I posted the original of this, and I thought I'd add that. Now, please Review, if you read. Hope you liked!


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